In a recent TV interview, Penelope Cruz told Ellen how she first realized she was famous. She was taking a walk with her father in her native Madrid when, within the same twenty seconds, one car drove by and somebody yelled out the window, “I love you!” Then, another car sped by and yelled, “Whore!”

This is so typical of the creative life. The opinions on your work are subjective. Some of us have a hard time remembering these judgments aren’t personal, even if they seem like it. Thomas Wolfe said, “Every novel is an autobiography.” In a way, that’s true. I can only write from my own head, and maybe that’s why attacks on our “babies” feel like attacks on us.

Now, what if you can separate personal attacks on you from subjective opinions on your work? Is it any easier? Not if you want to please all of the people absolutely all of the time. Most of us want our work to be well received. Some artists may prefer to provoke rather than entertain, but as long as they get the reaction they’re looking for, they’re happy.

The comedy writers of the world are especially apt to be misunderstood if people don’t realize their tongues are firmly planted in their cheeks! I once wrote a silly comedy about reincarnation. In our Judeo Christian society, the idea is ripe for satire! The majority of my readership probably doesn’t believe in reincarnation as a certainty, so that wasn’t the hot button.

Unfortunately, I addressed the subject of suicide in the story. Now many people do have a strong opinion on suicide and experience with people who’ve either thought about it or attempted it. Some people really liked the story and I received some glowing reviews. Others skewered me. They reacted to me like the folks who rolled down the car window and yelled, “Whore” to Penelope. She’s not a whore and I don’t think suicide is funny.

Does that mean writers should shy away from all possible hot buttons? How can you? Are they listed somewhere? Potentially, anything could be a hot button. You could write about a car or a prom and wind up dealing with controversy. Stephen King did. But he was going for horror and it made his career. His belief? “The innocent must suffer.” 

My belief? Humor can be found in just about anything…even rejection. And that is a tough lesson to learn. That thick skin people mention is painful to grow. Your skin has to be attacked a few times before calluses form. Attacked too much and a person becomes callus and bitter. There’s a reason callus has two meanings. One’s a very appropriate metaphor…and kind of funny if you think about it.